May 2019

My First Wodehouse

The only Jeeves novel in which Bertie Wooster does not appear

Recently all my spare minutes added up, and they took the form of the novel “Ring for Jeeves” by P.G. Wodehouse. Actually, these were mostly stolen minutes, in the way that I made them work double-time, I was actually working on a database while I listened to this book. It is narrated superbly Martin Jarvis on YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC3eSQBCavs he does a lovely job and all the voices, it’s really fabulous. Perhaps I even got triple value out of these 5 hours, as the job of cutting and pasting material into the database was so mechanical that I could listen to something at the same time as I got paid, and the entertainment was FREE.

It made me think that I will someday search out other audio versions of Wodehouse novels, but I didnt exactly run to do this. These novels (well, there are 90 of them so they may not all be the same! Although quick Google searches suggest otherwise) are, as one critic has said, “saccharine sweet.” In a good way, like candy is good, but too much makes your teeth ache. This novel is one that you could hear while getting ready in the morning, with half an ear, for some very pleasant background babbling. Perhaps they deserve more attention, but they don’t demand it.

It’s a bit like kindness, an experience so easy to overlook or forget, great humour, which makes you snort through your nose (this book provided that for me) is probably hard work to construct and maintain; what lies behind he lightness might have been rigorous chiseling.

I really appreciated it, as I love word play and a general sense of madness. The characters in this one (actually a novel with Jeeves the Butler who most people will recognise even if they have never read or seen a Wodehouse work, but one in which Bertie Wooster does not appear) were BONKERS. It was so enjoyable, but very hard to describe. It was a collision of silliness, a pile of send-ups, stacked to the sky.

For example, there is a character named Rory, who is a toff who now cheerfully works in a department store, he is the joke of a stereotype, and used to send-up everything from the aristocracy to hot-water bottles. Yes, he defames hot-water bottles, before moving on, in a split second, to be egregiously ridiculous in another vein.

Basically, think of a really good conversation with a couple of friends, maybe you’ve had a bit to drink and EVERYTHING is funny, you are all a bunch of real CHARACTERS, and you hold forth on various topics, piling insincerity on truth, creating hilarity, and everyone is laughing a LOT. Really good conversations like this can be rare, unless you practice with other equally verbose characters often, until you trust the other members of the troupe to rise to the occasion and egg it on further. But in real life jokes only hang in the air as long as smoke, they float away and die, as if they’ve never happened. Well, Wodehouse was there with you, on your best and funniest night, and he preserved your wit. He polished it up a bit though, perfected it and now it sings.

I was not a bit surprised to learn from Wikipedia that P.G Wodehouse had written musical comedies in the thirties and forties. Ring for Jeeves is just like watching a stage play, I’m not even sure that reading more of these novels in print is the right way to experience them. However I do want to order a few, and keep them in my medicine cupboard. If you feel depressed there is no better cure. Just don’t overdo the dosage!

It’s Fine

that’s an observatory in the background

Last Sunday I received a thin rejection letter from a scholarship fund. I’ve been waiting for a reply for about 6 months (and the application process had dragged on for 6 months before that). It was my last chance to get funding for this sprawling PhD project, it didn’t come, it’s not happening and I just have to face it: It’s not going to get easier than it has been. I’m not going to be able to pay my assistants without seriously cutting into my food budget, or taking money off my credit card (real talk). I’m not going to save 300 dollars a month against the impending landslide of my student loans as I’d been rosily picturing in spare moments.

In one way, I’ve lost nothing, I’m at the same point I always was, having to work alongside doing my research, which will likely double the completion time. That’s fine. I guess it has to be, as I’ve designed this project myself and am committed to seeing it through. And, so few people can win the big scholarships after all, they must have thousands of applicants, so it’s hardly even a let-down. It’s just—

I needed the vote of confidence in my project, almost as much as the money.

Every other person I know who has finished a PhD has had funding in what I can only imagine were princely amounts. (They probably weren’t, but from the outside, that’s what it looks like). And more than just their having the ability to devote more time to their research, they could relax on an existential plane, knowing that someone with authority had said “wow, it’s really WORTH IT that Student X does that particular PhD study. That’s what the world needs!”

And no one is saying that to me.

As this is hardly the first rejection, as I am basically a hard-boiled egg with legs by this point (bobbing in the Sea of First World Problems) I didn’t even shed a tear when I heard of the death of my last hope. I just cancelled my evening plans and breathed rather forcefully through my nose for awhile. Everyone I know who has finished has had funding. The whole time. But not me. It’s fine. My debts are something I’ve grown expert at repressing, but it’s fine. My project is a good one, experimental, self-designed, it’s going to answer a question that actually fills a gap in the research, but it’s not going to get funding. Fine.

It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine at least I believe in me it’s fine.

There is a lot that could be said about the big questions of whether we have to suffer for our art, or to what degree we are our work. I am not going to get into those today. I just want to make the point here that no one can prove that you aren’t what you think you are capable of being. And that you can say NO—to the assessments of others– and even to the assessments of funding bodies who pay people just for the purpose of assessing you. You can grit your teeth and not believe it.

So I sat outside on Tuesday this week, searching my soul with the aid of an Aperol Spritz (truly the Queen of cocktails) and allowing for the possibility that my soul might whisper back to me “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I paused, but nothing spoke. It seems to still not even be a question. I’m not going to stop. I couldn’t stop if I tried. As someone once said (I think it was Harry Potter) “They’ll know…in the end.” They’ll see, when it’s done. Then it will be “And you did it ALL, without support?” That’s right. It’s been several years since I bought stocks in the vindictive refusal to quit—it’s really amazing how much power they can generate! And how much interest they accrue over time.