August 2020

The Circle of Influence

“Good Life” here translates as “you can live with yourself, nothing flashy.”

Hello, and welcome back to Slow Scholarship. After a few rocky weeks, where I got, as I am sure most people did, caught up in terrible world events, I have decided that this platform isn’t going to be about reacting to awful things. I know, it seems very head-in-the-sand to say that, but I have decided, that when it comes to what I feel very strongly about: money talks loudest.

Now, I have almost never in the past 10 years believed that I had any
disposable income, being cosseted in debt as I am, but recently, the most miraculous thing happened (but I didn’t feel like reporting it at the time, because the US was in convulsions. I was also surprised how deeply that affected me. It seemed to affect a lot of the world, there was an outpouring of support for the Black Lives Matter movement across much of Europe at least, which is a positive thing). As for my little world, in early June I was told that I have won a stipendium.

Thank God. (With the big G–I am serious, this is like a miracle to me). Oh, how I dreamed about writing a blog post about this day, should it ever come, and putting a pretty picture of a glass of champagne at the top
of the post. I fantasized about it. Then, suddenly, with people being murdered in the streets of a superpower “democracy,” it didn’t seem so important.

I suspect that in the last month or so, a lot of us have been searching for answers. (Of course, some people don’t seem fussed, but as I remind myself about every three hours, I am not them. They are not me. I only have my own conscience to balance). I have found some solace in Stoicism, or at least Stoicism filtered through a modern (capitalistic!) lens, in the form of a little book of the collected newspaper articles called The Art of the Good Life, by Rolf Dobelli. In particular the article called “Mental Relief Work: Why You’re Not Responsible for the State of the World.

Oh god, it sounds callous, and some parts of the chapter still seem quite callous (I personally wouldn’t go so far as to say that I want to practice “social irresponsibility” as the physicist Richard Feynman apparently advocated. But it does help to remember that a) problems have very complex roots, and b) despite thinking about something a lot, I myself probably do not have, alone, the ability to adequately solve a complex problem like racism (which is very different from saying that it isn’t a problem!)

I have owned this book since about 2016, and I dip into it every year. It’s so munch-able. There are a few things I don’t agree with, and he’s got a really shallow view of Marx, but otherwise, this book contains a trove of good points. I want to integrate many of them into my life, and perhaps read his other “million-selling” book, The Art of Thinking Clearly. We all need that, after all.

What Dobelli does advise in this chapter is, if you want to have some hand in making change, put your money where your mouth is. And don’t get it wrong, the author repeats, “Give money, not your time, money.

(By this I think he mostly means that when you are contemplating “good works” concerning problems that are located abroad in countries not your own, you should send relief organizations money. Closer to home I am sure that one can affect real change by volunteering, by serving food to people in need, or giving the masses access to culture via a short-film festival. Organizations or exhibitions close to home would fall within one’s circle of
influence
).

But back to money’s ability to talk, and to make things happen. Now (for the next six months, lol!) I can meet my basic needs and I found, that rather than trying to put into words all my frustration at the world, I am going to donate (oh, it’s not enormous, but everything is relative) to the causes I want to see furthered. There are societies, think-tanks, independent newspapers, lobbyists, and activist groups are working hard to change the world, in ways I simply cannot by typing words on a screen. And doing so, only drains me.

I’m going to give them some money when I can and let myself off the hook for the wrongs of the world. It’s the same way billionaires push their personal agendas as well of course: by giving money judiciously and certainly very self-servingly. I’m not saying I am some type of evolved being: I am just glad now I can play the game that already runs the world. I’m really not trying to get points here. I am as amazed as anyone that I found something I want to exercise my will toward.*

Thus, one can extend one’s influence by donating money, and that’s pretty much it. Tweeting about problems, trying to argue with people who come from different places and have totally different concerns just gets you worked up and wastes time.

A very weird thing about this blog is, this summer I was debating whether or not to go on with it, and when I looked back in some posts the overall tone seemed so mopey, ughhh, it certainly doesn’t sound like I celebrate life, it sounds like I just get through, despite the fact that I am very happy daily and have been very lucky. Then there was a global pandemic and everyone was scared, exhausted and then depressed, and then horrible crimes were visible on the news, and there were naturally aftershocks of these.

Now, I don’t think all of that is over, or that we have heard the last of these types of problems. It’s just that, finding a way, a tiny way, to actually do something, even if it is only looking at someone who is downplaying the effects of racism in the eye and thinking to yourself, I am working against this, is so galvanizing. And I’ve rather come back to life, out of the morose-wallowing-in-failure haze that wafts around this blog. I am more grateful than ever for what I have, and I want to live in the present.